Parent of Friend?

As I watched the performance of Miley Cyrus this morning from last night’s VMA I, like many of you, cringed and had a hard time keeping my breakfast down. As the father of two children who has Hannah Montanna albums on his ITunes account that I sing along with my daughter, I was horrified at how much she has changed. She went from a wholesome (seemingly) down-home young lady to what can only be described as “tramp-like” in a relatively short period of time. During that time, I have switched from encouraging my 8 year old daughter to emulate her to not wanting my daughter to see her at all. What happened? How do I make sure it does not happen to my daughter? Is there a secret “parenting tip” that can help?

First things first, pray for Miley and her family. She has obviously lost her way and is searching for something to steady her life. It appears to me that she is wandering around in secular darkness and someone needs to pierce that darkness and show her the love of the Father. I also encourage you to pray for her father as I cannot imagine what watching something like that would do to me as a father. We are all brothers and sisters in Christ and deserve to be loved and encouraged in that family.

Second, as a parent, love your children as parents not friends. I was watching an Andy Stanley series on the family and he spoke about being friends with your children when they are grown but only if you were a parent as they were growing up. I read an interview that Billy Ray Cyrus gave about wanting to be Miley’s friend for years and how he believes that is what will cause her to go down the wrong path. The interview was given two years ago and I believe it was prophetic. I also watch as parents get on TV after their child is charged with a heinous crime and say “that could not be my son (or daughter) doing that…” or “my child is an angel and would never do such a thing.” I heard both of those statements from parents of the boys who shot the Australian baseball player in Oklahoma last week. I do not want to blame the parents for every evil that their children do, but I would encourage parents to spend time not entertaining their children but getting to know their children and setting boundaries and discipline. This does not mean that in order to be a good parent you need to be a hard ass. It means that children are looking for boundaries in order to feel safe and if you do not set them, no one will.

I am by no means the expert but, to boil it all down, no one is perfect and children who are raised in a loving Christ-Centered home can still do the wrong thing. But, if there are more loving Christ-Centered homes, there are more chances for loving Christ-Centered children. Love your children by teaching them how to behave and setting boundaries for mistakes that they make but also supporting them as a parent. Your children will grow up to have many friends but only 2 parents.

I choose to be a PARENT